June 23, 2018 by lunachik4

grown-up love

i go in search of a drink

and find a bar with a door-bell

and ring it and go into the glowing cave

and see earthquake tori calling to me from the tv

from across the continents, saying: let diagonal lies lie;

singing: we are all shell-shocked at one time or another by truth—

this is life. let it be. drink your drink. live your life. love your self, love.

October 15, 2017 by lunachik4

we will have words

there’s no room in my life

for new men; because the old

ones keep creeping in.

at night, they get the lay

of the land. still, after all

this time—they inhabit the

dreams of both body and

mind. every now and then

a new man will arrive on

the scene: in real life.

a good man. a man who

makes me feel alive.

we will have words;

so help me god.

we will have a new life,

a new touch, a clean rain.

and i will be reminded:

you are not your pain.

December 18, 2016 by lunachik4

i used to be

to take the edge off,

at least during the day,

at least during waking, non-

working hours; to go about

your routines, together but

alone, talking past each other:

slipping out to the ledge just to

see where it could all end; looking

back at where you’ve been because

you can’t imagine what hasn’t

happened yet. eye contact is a

commodity; to hold it is a luxury.

July 2, 2016 by lunachik4

to enjoy what was

take me to your timberline,

show me where your true self ends

and your truer self begins.

i want to see in:

i want the spiral of a dream to take me

out of time,

put me in the womb,

put me on the edge of battle,

put me in the pack

chasing survival;

to forget the forgetting,

to feel the source,

to see the spine of life continuing

as it passes through doors.

to enjoy what was

is to carve joy

into what is,

into what will be again:

it is all the same clay, the same

tools, the same deep grooves.

you call me to the fire, and

i answer with water;

and we sit at the edge of the mountain

and conspire to love.

July 29, 2015 by lunachik4

we are time less

here i am, perched on the edge of earth’s balcony.

the beach at night—how i’ve missed it, the way the sea and sky merge into one big dark blue sigh;

the way the soft black-blue cushions you, makes you forget your fluorescent fears, makes you let go of the artifice, makes you feel like anything is possible, makes you feel;

the way this buzz goes deeper, into the curves of your being, winding through your veins and vessels and tunnels and channels, climbing through your cochlea with a vibrating message: you are alive;

the way the sand digs into every part of you and forces you to be present, to feel every granule, every atomic angle, measured out;

the way the clouds open up just enough to show you a sliver of moon, of reference and reminder on this glint-edge of spoon;

how it makes you really feel the earth, the roundness, the expanse, the way she takes full breaths, the way you could just fall off the ledge, disappear and be swallowed up into the depths.

we step into the tide and feel the grains and rocks and tease of seaweed and slip-slide of shells. we talk about sharks and the recent attacks and how the ocean is their natural habitat, and we are the real infestation;

we talk about death, and life, and family, and memory, and poetry, and cycles, and the canals we all move through, and the sounds, and the barriers we try to put up, and the way liquid light still pushes in;

i think about you, standing next to me, sitting so close to me in the sand, breathing this same air, sharing this same lens and space, like a kind and sacred hand being offered up for us both to hold;

i think about you, sitting in that chair, looking up at me and into me while i act out my script, play my part in that beautiful-tragedy, soak up your smiles, walk shaking circles around that stage of words.

we talk about how we’ve been here before, and how we’ll be here again, when we’re old and still time-less and still connected.

i slip out of my coverings just a bit and feel the moon and water on my skin, just enough to make me levitate, forget land for a moment, all the ties that bind, all the promises and commitments and labels and losses and lies left—

you, like the night ocean, have that effect.

and in the midst of all this thinking and talking and surging and being—a miracle right at our feet! tiny slippery white flashes of light—riding in on the tide and seeming to fly right off the crest!

like the floating particles in the eye that you can’t really see or look at directly—we try, and then they’re gone.

we squint and bend down closer to try to make out their shape, follow them down the shore, but we can only see faint patches, glimmers of light, scurrying schools of squarish white blobs, round at points, shifting together and then apart—so rapidly we can’t pin them down.

but we know they’re there. we don’t know what they are, but we know we saw them. we’re glad we’re not alone; we have each other as a witness that this phenomenon was real, is real.

we wait for the next sighting, for the next mystery-swarm to come through; we’re amazed and six years old again and true.

we’re glad we’re not alone. we’re glad there’s always a miracle when we meet.

here i am, perched on the edge of earth’s balcony; and the show is free.

April 29, 2015 by lunachik4

silvicultrix

the art of doing nothing,
waiting for the something
to arrive: a glass dipper,
a studded wardrobe, a
silent snake creeping;

the heart of living in the past,
just under the stroke of mid-night:
a diadem moon lowering onto our heads,
a dream within a dream within a dream
removing all doubts and currencies.

i am dismantled again and again
in this place without name,
without boundaries:
in my forest green alive,
in my one knit slipper.