iii.

i thought i lost you:

on my own—

 

twist of lightning;

home alone.

 

open-chested

trinity:

 

a paradox of

riches—

 

first steps,

first stay,

 

first time

driving away;

 

the lonely light house

winks at the bay.

 

and we lay, we lay,

we lay down our dark

 

arms and rub up against

the furry light of day.

 

 

 

born free (nine times)

Here I am in my third week of unemployment. Feels like the right time to take some inventory — on this, the day of independence.

I am most certainly ’employed’ — in writing, reading, drawing, walking, playing around on the piano, with my cat, with my kid, with my new phone. I’m even (gasp!) cooking and baking. In some ways, I feel more employed than ever. Or perhaps deployed?

Now if only I could get myself and my kid up and out of bed before noon.

But then again … why? (especially given that we were up until 4 a.m. having a ‘Lord of the Rings’ marathon complete with popcorn and freshly-baked brownies)

I’m reminded of the quintessential icon of independence in our house: Queen Charlotte.

Queen Charlotte

Charlotte is the symbol of doing what one wants, when one wants, without having to justify it to anyone.

charlotte_sleeping

Whether it’s sleeping, window gazing, eating my plants, or giving us the evil eye, Charlotte is in charge of her own life.

charlotte_window

If I stopped feeding her, I am confident she would find a way to get outside and find her own food. She’s crafty like that.

charlotte_wink

And, so, on this day that signifies my favorite number and our country’s birthday, I am going to lock away the guilt (a useless emotion, as noted by a very wise friend) in a very large strongbox and do what I want to do, when I want to do it — i.e., walk downtown in the rain with my kid and watch a matinee of ‘The Great Gatsby’ followed by Splendora’s salted caramel gelato and some festive fireworks.

Speaking of which, this hilarious pic posted by The Feline Friends Cat Sanctuary in my hometown of Massachusetts as a reminder to keep all pets indoors during this raucous celebration is what got me thinking about cats in the first place:

cat_fireworks

Happy 4th!

Be safe. Be yourself. ~